Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse? If you have, then you know all-too-well what it feels like to live in the aftermath of their wrath. Often times, survivors are diagnosed with C-PTSD: complicated post traumatic stress disorder. 

Complicated post traumatic stress disorder can occur when a person has been repeatedly traumatized, as is often the case when someone has been emotionally abused over a long period of time. The road to healing from this level of trauma can seem long and arduous, however it can be treated successfully with a combination of therapies. In my experience, Reiki & Sound Therapy can be wonderful complements to other forms of therapeutic care when treating this condition.

The first step towards healing from C-PTSD stemming from emotional abuse is breaking free from the abuse and educating and empowering yourself. That being said, let’s explore the dynamics between the victim and the abuser:

The personality types of emotional abusers can sway between two different extremes: euphoric and dysphoric states of being. This can be extremely confusing to the victim. 

During the euphoric state, the abuser will appear to be charming, and will use lies and innuendo to manipulate their victim into believing they are indeed who they say they are. This is how they "hook" their victims emotionally. They present their "false self" in a very manipulative manner. Once the victim is hooked, the "idealize, devalue, and discard" cycle begins. It can become extremely hard to identify this toxic cycle if you are emotionally vulnerable and have not been able to identify your own core wounds. 

The emotional abuse can quickly escalate and often times becomes an “addiction” for the victim. When the victim begins to "wake up" to the truth of what the abuser is doing, the abuser will lie and use gaslighting techniques to distort the victim's perception of reality, which can lead to cognitive dissonance.

Victims of emotional abuse often have a hard time distinguishing what is "real" because the abuser has projected their demented version of reality onto them. During the dysphoric state, the abuser will play the victim role and will emotionally "shut down" to keep the victim addicted to their presence, leaving the victim desperate for another dose of idealization. 

And then the cycle begins again. 

Prevention is key:

When you encounter emotional abusers and other energy vampires, it is best to honor your intuition and peacefully remove yourself from their view. You will never win their "game". 

You can and will heal once you decide to remove yourself from the situation. 

Once removed, you can continue in your recovery process by recognizing the symptoms of C-PTSD, which are similar to PTSD but may include:

feelings of shame or guilt

difficulty controlling your emotions

periods of losing attention and concentration (dissociation)

physical symptoms, such as headaches, dizziness, chest pains and stomach aches

cutting yourself off from friends and family

relationship difficulties

destructive or risky behavior

People with complex PTSD often find it difficult to trust other people. You may be offered more therapy sessions than usual so you have time to build a trusting relationship with your healer/therapist/practitioner. Establishing trust is a primary goal when healing from emotional abuse. 

As you begin to adjust to living free from the abuse, there are many ways you can start to care for yourself as you adapt to your new life:

✶ exercising regularly

✶ finding a job

✶ making new friends

✶ socialize with old friends, if these relationships were healthy

✶ taking up a hobby

There are so many ways you can begin to honor, nourish, and love yourself again as you heal from your past traumas. Through it all, it’s important to remember that “this too shall pass”, and you can and will recover.

You are NOT a victim, you are a VICTOR!